Someone shit on the floor
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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