What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
