ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
