Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
