Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
