So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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