remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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