On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
