mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
