We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
His hands were made for my vagina.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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