You really coming over, don't trick.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
