it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm at about main and main street
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
