im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
