He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
