There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
