I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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