talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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