the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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