she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It's rum buckets o'clock
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
