i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
My life is pants optional.
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