So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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