The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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