I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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