that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
false alarm, still single
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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