Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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