There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We had sex on a dog bed..
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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