the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
should my penis look like a turkey
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
