just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
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