He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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