that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
