Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Someone came in the potted fern
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
