She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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