You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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