There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
