I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
