Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
