Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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