we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You need Xanax blowdarts
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
