question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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