I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
