I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
