and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
