Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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