I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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