WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
