I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
