One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
