you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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