So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
