In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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