My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
