Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
